In Remembrance….

I don’t have that great of a memory.  Honestly, it’s embarrassing the amount of things that I have forgotten.  I have forgotten appointments, kids at school and names of people I’ve known for years.  I’m sure that if my memory was better that I would be embarrassed — I just don’t remember.  Wednesday, as I was sitting in church waiting for my turn  to take Communion I remembered 1 Corinthians 11:24.  It says that Jesus on the night before He was crucified He took His disciples to the upper room and celebrated Passover.  He took the bread, broke it and told his disciples to eat it “in remembrance” of Him.  Then in verse 25 He took the cup and told them to remember Him whenever they drank it.  I’m sure that they began to recall some of the moments that they’d spent with Jesus, walking, talking, praying.  I’m sure that they  remembered the miracles and amazing things that had happened, but I’m sure that after the crucifixion this “remembrance” took a different turn.

This caused me to question how I do Communion.  Do I hurry through the bread and cup or do I take the time to remember?   As a result, today I choose to remember.   I remember that Jesus, the creator of worlds and galaxies laid aside His glory and put on flesh to become a man.    I remember that this same man lived a perfect life and picked up the world’s sins (including mine) and took them on Himself, was crucified, buried, marched into hell and preached to the captives.  He lead those captives out of hell and defeated death by rising from the tomb in a new glorified body!  He ascended into heaven where He sits at the right hand of the Father in authority!  I remember these amazing facts, but I also remember that this same Jesus called to me at the tender age of 7 and has walked with me for 48 years.  I remember that He has heard my cries, and tenderly told me of His love.  He has been a friend that stuck closer than any other.  Even when I was walking in sin, and not afraid of His judgement, He still loved me.  Loved me enough to call to me, to draw me, to whisper to my heart. Loved me enough to not give up on me.  Yes, I remember…




Sometimes Life Sucks

This week has been a hard one.  We laid my cousin Matthew to rest.  It wasn’t easy, and as I sat in the church and listened to the eulogy and sermon I found that several things were on my heart.  Now don’t get me wrong, the pastor did a great job.  His words were comforting and true to scripture.  He did what the family asked and what God required.  I just got to thinking about the times in my life that I’ve sat in a church trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with the situation that I faced and the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm me.

So, here’s what I wish someone had told my heart:

Sometimes life sucks!  I’m sorry, there’s no other way to say it.  Life is messy and unpredictable.   Sometimes there are no explanations.

Jesus is near the brokenhearted.  If you listen carefully, you can hear Him in the hushed whisper of a friend.  Feel Him in the warm embrace of a loved one, and know His presence in the quiet support of friends and family that come and sit silently and share your sorrow.  Yes, He is near the brokenhearted.

God can be trusted.  He can be trusted to do right by us.    He can be trusted with our lives…. and our deaths.    He can be trusted with our questions and emotions.  The fear, anger, and even despair are emotions that He created.  They are valid and it’s ok to have them.  Well meaning people may tell you not to grieve.  Why not? It’s not wrong to grieve. Jesus wept when Lazarus died!  Sometimes it is all you can do to just lay at His feet,  wounded and broken.

Your first inclination is to suffer alone.  To grieve in private and to try to soldier on by yourself.   Be careful–Isolation is deadly!  Allow the Lord to minister to you through others.  Let people give to you and speak into your life.  It helps you and it helps them.

Grieving makes you vulnerable to other attacks from the enemy.  Take care of yourself!  Remember, not even death (either yours or someone you love) can separate you from the Father’s love!

Yes, life sometimes sucks–but take heart God is good!

The Body of Christ in My Teeth

I have celebrated the Lord’s Supper in many different places and ways.  I have taken it with tiny crackers & grape juice served in tiny cups on a giant silver serving plate, and with homemade bread and a communal cup.  I have used bread, tiny crackers,pita bread, a giant cracker, and even a tortilla. I have wrapped my long fingers around that tiny, little cup  and waited till everyone was served and have broken the bread myself and dipped it in a communal cup.  I have been in churches that taught that only a man could administer the Lord’s Supper and been in other fellowships that gave me the honor of sharing the Lord’s Table with my fellow Christians.  I have shared Communion with fellow believers in no less than 12 different churches where some called it Communion, some called it The Lord’s Supper, others the Sharing of the Bread & Cup.  Through it all I have found that no matter the name on the building and the form that it takes that it is a sacred and holy moment. A moment designed by my Master to cause me to pause, to think, to reflect.  It invariably causes me to put aside myself and concentrate on Jesus and the sacrifice He made.


But lately…….lately I have been struggling.  It’s  crazy, I know, but the cracker keeps getting stuck in my teeth and I have no idea how to respectfully remove it. How do I pick the Body of Christ out of my teeth?  So I sit!  I sit through the remainder of the service feeling awkward and slightly disrespectful for even being in this situation and wondering how to keep this from happening again.  Despite all of my frustration, every Wednesday I find myself sitting in the sanctuary wondering the same thing….How do I get this cracker out of my teeth and retain my dignity?  That is, until a couple of weeks ago.  Yes, a couple of weeks ago a crazy idea popped in my head:  The Lord’s Supper SHOULD be a little awkward.  Sometimes it is impossible to be confronted with my sin and His sacrifice and remain composed and refined.  Being a Christian is all about being real and sometimes being real is messy.  I SHOULD sit every week and wonder why the broken “body of Christ” is in my mouth.  I should pick through the images in my head that remind me why His body was broken.  His sacrifice should stick with me and leave me with a little bit of undignified awkwardness.

So, next Wednesday, I invite you to join me in a few awkward moments at the Lord’s Table.


My How Time Flies!

I feel so bad about not blogging more….sometimes you’ve just got to do what you can & smile about the rest.  So, I’m smiling. 

Just a quick update.

  • I am now employed!  I work for a busy rural health clinic as a receptionist.
  • My oldest child–Cynthia–is moving back to Florida in the fall to complete her degree.
  • My middle child–Ky– will graduate in about a week, AND MOVE TO MISSOURI!
  • My baby–Austin– is signing with the Marines tonight. 

I am feeling the first symptoms of “empty nest syndrome”.    My heart is heavy, my hands are sweaty, & I feel…..I feel….GRRRRRR. 

That’s all for now…I think that I’ve spread enough cheer. hehe

Wonderful Peace!

The world is going crazy! 

  • Banks are failing
  • The stock market is a roller coaster that is racing out of control
  • The UN is calling for a global currency
  • Our economy (& many others) is on the brink of collapse
  • Terrorism 
  • Dirty Politics
  • Fear
  • Poverty
  • Hurricanes
  • Crime
  • Church Troubles


If I had a mind to I could probably loose alot of sleep.  There are alot of reasons to worry, but I have a song going over & over in my head.  It’s the same song that my Mama sang for me on 9-11. 

Wonderful Peace

Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.

Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!

What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace,
Buried deep in the heart of my soul,
So secure that no power can mine it away,
While the years of eternity roll!

Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!

I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace,
Resting sweetly in Jesus’ control;
For I’m kept from all danger by night and by day,
And His glory is flooding my soul!

Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!

And I think when I rise to that city of peace,
Where the Anchor of peace I shall see,
That one strain of the song which the ransomed will sing
In that heavenly kingdom will be:

Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!

Ah, soul! are you here without comfort and rest,
Marching down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your Friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept of this peace so sublime!

Wonderful Peace, lyrics by Warren D. Cornell

                                                       2 Corinthians 4:7-10

But this precious treasure-this light and power that now shine within us-is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies.  So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit.  We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.  Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.


Ahhhhh, home.  How I’ve missed it. 


I don’t know how many of you know it, but I have finally returned home.  Barry was a trouper & managed to live without me for 6 months!!!!!  He’s amazing!  I know that he didn’t plan on living as a single parent AFTER he got married, but that is what he was doing.  (The house wasn’t clean when I got home, but he had done a great job managing a business AND a home with teenagers by himself.)  The dirty dishes made me feel like he did need me after all.  hehe 

It’s a long story, but I needed to be home & the Lord opened the door for me to return.  My mom & dad are still trying to figure out a way to cope with Parkinson’s, but my place is here with my family.  My time with my kids is limited.  I only have a year with KYKY, & 2 with AB.  I would love for my parents to move closer so that I can help, but they are not open to moving at this time.  Soooooo, I will respect my mom & her decisions & be at home with my family.   

I’ve been home about a month now & almost have the laundry caught up…… I have the house where people can come over again, & the garage about 2/3 of the way cleaned out.    I’m tired!  hehe 

It feels good being home.