When faced with the reality of my oldest child leaving home I weep. It can't be time to let go yet. There must be more time. It was only last week that she was grasping my index finger to steady herself as she learned to walk, & just yesterday that she had her first piano recital. How can I let go of those precious fingers? How can she not need me anymore? I struggle with the reality that I don't have anything else to teach her. Surely not! I look at myself & see the things that I possibly couldn't have taught her & look at her & wonder where she learned to be so poised & mature.
Again I wonder how I will ever let go. I am transported to April 6, 1988. We had just found out that something was wrong with her. That she was in danger & that she might not even survive. As we drove to the Neo-natal unit I remember asking Barry what we would do if something happened. If she died???…..I'll never forget his response. He looked at me with such peace in his eyes & said, "Corinna, if this baby dies it will be God's will & she will be where we want to be–in His presence–and it will be all right. And if this baby lives it will be God's will & it will be all right." We took the next few minutes & placed her in His hands & reaffirmed our trust in Him.
How do I let go? I fear that the only way is to once again place her in His hands & realize that He's been holding her all along.